29 December 2017

2017 Polkie Awards - My Least Favourite Beer(s) of 2017

  Listen, I get it.
  I really do.
  I understand the draw of two beers I consider to be my least favourite of 2017 and I did pause a moment because of the love I have for the folks behind the beer, both from a brewing and a branding perspective. But a poorly executed and deceptively marketed beer cannot escape justice and today we bestow the most anticipated 2017 Polkie Award to the oddly named Ontario Brewer named NAC Importer that contract brewed these abominations in Guelph. I'll list them alphabetically because I don't think it matters which of these brutal beers goes first. As a disclaimer let me say I am a fan of The Trailer Park Boys and have been since the show was launched way back in the day. Having said that, here are number 1 and 1A of crappy Ontario "Craft" beer in 2017. I won't bother trying to coat it, I'll let my initial review stand for itself. I wish the Boys hadn't let their names be attached to such garbage...even for the money.

1. Freedom 35 Lager - NAC Importers

   Why? Because f $%k you that's why! Sorry, I must be channelling my inner Ricky as I try to stomach this weak marketing scheme disguised as a craft beer in my oh so Trailer Park Boys like garage. It's getting the old spring cleaning tomorrow but for now, let me take you on a journey through the anatomy of a show I love, making a beer I'd rather not have tried. Freedom 35 is a 5% Lager that pours a clear gold with a white head that fades. Smelling corn and cereal grains. On the sip, it's a beer. That's as much as I can muster. Toasted malt body with hints of toffee, lemon cereal grains and corn syrup. Sticky backend with a light bitterness and a lingering lemon,  toffee and corn bullshit. I will admit to being a fan of this foul mouthed show, it has been entertaining me for more than a decade but I must say I am not gonna be buying this weird crap again. Save the $2.75 and give it to the bottle kids to huck at whoever attached the boys with this scheme. Better they get in with Cool and Millennium Buzz.  Go back to the weed because come next year I'm sure that's what we'll see branded next. Just say no to this one kids, it's got shitty Bill written all over it. Cheers?

1A. Ricky's Catch 23 Malt Liquor - NAC Importers

  I'm here for the beer! Sort of...there are moments though...from NAC Importers comes the second entrant in the "milking it" Trailer Park Boy series of "beers". Ricky's Catch 23 is a 6.0% Malt Liquor that somehow exists at the LCBO when Juicin doesn't...really? Pours a clear and deep golden colour with a white head that fades quickly.  Smells sweet with a corn note. On the sip, big sweet malty mess with a sugary syrupy corn base that leaves a sticky mixed up toffee finish. I haven't smoked weed  in over 20 years but this one makes me wish I did. I definitely graduated Grade 10, but this gives me the feeling I failed something along the way. Cheers?

  I know there are folks who will love these beers and if it makes them think they are into craft beer and they stop buying Macro then I should be okay with that...but I can't be because these 2 beers represent everything that could go wrong with the industry, Poorly executed beer with "celebrity" endorsers in this case means a Canadian icon takes a step back in all our eyes. The saddest thing is that these will sell and that will only encourage more bad beer with terrible intentions. Just say no and let this kind of garbage relegate itself to the dust bin of our collective beer history. I shall speak no more of this, it has been given an amount of attention that it doesn't deserve.



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